we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
