It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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