I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
