She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
