I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There r osticjed everywhere
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This is classic penis vs brain.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
