I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
