Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
