please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
