i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
