do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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