Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
