im about as happy as oj after his trial
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
