Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
