I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize