Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
