Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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