Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
