you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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