remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
