forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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