using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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