She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
