I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
