I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
