did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
