FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
