then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
