So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
