So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
