I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
