Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
