i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
