She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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