His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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