after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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