It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
