I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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