You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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