She's JV to your varsity
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
