Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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