Cold hands, warm shart.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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