Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
