I can text with my tongue
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
