we're blogging at a bar
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
