It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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