hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
