just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
