why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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