oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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