it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are we still banned from the library?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
