Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
