Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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