I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
