we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
