If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
