he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
