Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
